He Is My Spring…

I was walking down my street. It was my first time wearing only a sweater after I had noticed the temperature was 11 degrees Celsius. What a beautiful number after what seemed like an incredibly long and storm filled winter.

The sun was shining and its radiance hit my face like the most precious of gems. The breeze was just right, not strong or cool, but enough that I could smell spring in the air. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and the sound of birds caught my attention.

I felt so good in that moment. So full of gratitude, and thanksgiving for both this season and its creator. I began to pray, thanking God for the glory of the sunshine, and the beauty of the season change.

Then I realized, Jesus is my spring. Everything I was feeling paralleled itself with my faith. The goodness, the radiance, the gratitude, the glory of spring mirrors exactly how I feel about my relationship with God.

For 22 years it was a long and very stormy winter. It was dark, cold and miserable. At times I wondered “when will this end…?” Sometimes I was amazed at the beauty of a fresh snow fall, and the sun still shone periodically, but it was still winter, still cold and often dreary.

When I reflect on my life before my faith, I see that it wasn’t all bad. There were periods of time where it was good, and life can be good without being a Christian for sure. As I said, the sun still shone and sometimes the beauty of the winter season was evident in my life.

One such day that could be describable as the beautiful and perfect winter scene, like a  Christmas card would be the birth of my first child. An other amazing winter day, I stood before a man and pledged my life to him, with an optimism that was unshakeable. Those days reiterate to me that goodness can occur, no matter the season of life. My winter wasn’t all bad.

But, there were storms there. Being on the verge of living in foster care before a sibling took me in, that was a really dark and lonely storm. The day I watched my confidant, my Grandmother, breathe her last the snow ravaged and I felt so trapped, cold and lonely.

But that season is a miss in my life now. Now it’s Spring. I have a Saviour. I know who I am, defined by the Father’s love for me. Though cold days may come now, its never with the same intensity that was winter.

Spring is here. Jesus is my spring.

Just like a typical spring, things happen gradually. First, the top layers of snow and ice begin the melt. The ground revealed is full of trash and so profoundly ugly compared to that of a summer ground.  These moments are when God called me to deal with my own  ugliness. For me, it meant dealing with the bitterness I had allowed to overtake my heart. I couldn’t possibly have an ice cold heart yet walk in the sunshine.

As more thawed, dirt was found to be everywhere just like the street I found myself on today.  For me, this dirt was things I had buried, pain I had tucked away inside hoping it would now cease to exist. Out of sight, out of mind I had thought.  But like the dirt I saw, this couldn’t hide and it comes out in anger outbursts, doubts, and frustrations. Soon the street sweeper will come and tidy the road, just like Jesus cleaned out the cobwebs of my once very broken heart.

Though the sun shone in the winter, it has a brighter hue now that spring is here. For me, this is the joy I find adorning my face.  I always tried to be positive and happy-go-lucky, but now I don’t require the same amount of effort. I find myself cascading down the sidewalk with lyrics of how loved I am from praise songs at church filling my mind. I consider the beauty of the hard moments I face with those in my church family, and how we travel these journeys together. Even when there is much pain, there is abundant joy because spring is here. Jesus is here.

Though the season is still new, there is growth. The buds on the trees, they remind me of the new creation that I am in Christ. The new growth reminds me I don’t need to carry my burdens, because I can lay them all at the feet of the cross. There is nothing Jesus can’t handle.

The birds and their songs fill my heart with gratitude for the creation I am surrounded with. Now, instead of worshiping the creation that brings me such peace, I have an intimate and tangible relationship with the Creator. He knows my name. He hears my prayers, He longs to give me the desires of my heart. He loves me in a way so deep, I could never completely grasp it.

Winter is over. Spring is here. This may be true of the calendar year, but it is also true of my heart. Cold days still happen in spring, but the hope remains. I’m no longer buried under dark gloomy skies, but now I’m in a season where it just keeps getting better. More and more layers of the winter are being removed from my life, and new growth keeps occurring.

Spring has sprung in more ways than one.